When was the last time someone asked you what you want without any strings attached?
9 out of 10 times when someone asks us “What do you want?”, they are trying to persuade us into why we don’t actually want whatever it is.
In college, every student is told they can change the world, but no one ever points them in the direction of how. College emphasizes large impact changes, but pays no attention to the small scale impact that everyday people make on a regular basis.
Countless people graduate university every year without knowing what they want to do for their career. An even larger amount accept a job offer and realize quickly that it’s not all that fantastic.
Both students who graduate without a clue and who graduate with job offer in hand have one thing in common; no one ever really asked them “What do YOU want?”
These students are fed ideas from media, parents, and then their peers about what their passions “should be”.
So let me finally ask you, “What do YOU want in life?”
I’m talking very simple. As examples,
What kind of house do you want? Apartment? Mansion? Tiny house?
What’s your ideal commute?
What type of car do you drive? Do you even drive one?
What is that dining room table going to look like?
Then get more complicated,
Do you want to get married?
Could you see yourself with kids?
Keep going and be really, really selfish.
Don’t think about what your mom would want you to say or how your best friend would answer the question. Go with your gut and write it down.
However, DO NOT ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS DURING THIS EXERCISE:
What is my life mission?
What is my passion?
What is my purpose?
Attempting to answer these “BIG” questions is setting yourself up for failure. If you can’t look me in the eye and tell me what you want to eat for lunch or what color living room you’d prefer, I’m sorry, but you will never be able to answer “What is your purpose?”.
It’s half about becoming decisive and half about realizing you are actually in control of your wants and that those wants are valid.
If you can answer those little questions and details about what you want your life to look like 5, 10, 20 years from now, you can more easily start to map out a plan to get there.
When you can map out what you need to have that lifestyle you want, you can figure out how to get it. It’s okay to not know if you want to be married or want kids, those things can change, but if you think about what you want now, you can start to have a plan and adjust later.
I never realized how important a flexible work arrangement would be to me or how much I wanted a stainless steel fridge. But that is important to me. I want a small living space to share with my future partner and I know for a fact that I don’t want to just be working one single 9–5 job for the rest of my life. I realized I needed variety and I need to start creating a lifestyle that will provide that variety for me while I’m in my early 20s.
So go ahead, be selfish, and ask yourself: What do you want?
(As a bonus, ask yourself WHY you want these things for a little more insight into who you are)
Leave a comment letting me know what you want. I’m all ears.